This article relates to a concept in Listening 101, a Fairfield Center Communications Training program.

Silence.  Just silence.

Silence can sometimes be a powerful addition – even a contribution – to a conversation.  It is normal to want to say something after the other person has stopped talking.  It shows we’re interested, that we’re engaged in the conversation.

But sometimes our urge to say something comes from being uncomfortable with a lull in the conversation.  Without really having anything to say in response to someone, we might fill a silence with a short phrase, or change the subject, or a question or comment that might change the direction of the conversation.

Sometimes, just a moment of space – a short silence from the listener – can allow a speaker to continue, clarify, or develop their thoughts.  This can be a tremendous contribution to a speaker who may not otherwise have had the “conversational room” for this thinking.

And silence does not mean we are not communicating!  With our nonverbal communication, such as eye contact, facial expressions, and gestures, we can clearly communicate we are listening, and avoid cluttering the conversation with filler that may distract the speaker from what they would naturally say next.

In Listening 101, one of the practice opportunity early on relates to getting comfortable with the silence in a conversation.  Later, we explore what can be said that might break a silence but can keep the speaker following their own train of thought.

Practice: Choose 2 conversations today and practice listening with only your nonverbal communication.  If the other person stops speaking, let the silence be!